Chapter 8: Marc Hanson – Operator – MQ7.

Catherine kept me alive and well as a young boy and I became a highly loyal and dutiful indentured servant, and the subject, not the victim, of powerful Sicilian witchcraft and sorcery that strongly determined the course and outcome of the first 50 years of my earthly life. There was no escaping this fate, and I understood this before my birth when I volunteered to come here and live through this gauntlet of human existence. Unbeknownst to the woman who bore me in her womb, I came into this dense-matter world with a supreme spiritual edge, and I had an innate X-factor long before I took shape as Marc Hanson. 

When I was born the son of Catherine of Bayridge, I was no greenhorn fledgling infant. I was the sentient soul of a mature indigo-child who came from the magical quartz crystal plateau and the pure carbon-diamond mountains in the skies above us, upon which the crystal mansions of endless glory are built. My ancient, sentient, and powerful indigo soul enabled my human body to harness a vast array of sensory and perceptive capabilities that existed independently of my human container, which illuminated my human existence and gave me the fortitude to navigate the hellscape that is Earth.

I was resilient in spirit and loyal before I was born with a strong predilection to be unbreakable, divergent, alert, compassionate, and loving. I would remain this way regardless of the amount and duration of the slow-simmering trauma that would come upon me throughout my long earthly life. I was fortunate to have the continuous help and loving guidance of the heavenly host throughout my life, and this supreme privilege accounts for much of my propensity to remain resilient and to maintain love radiance without fail.

Given my unique circumstances, I never felt as if I was a victim of supernatural mayhem, trauma, or intentional torment. I always considered myself to be a voluntary subject under study, rather than some haunted victim in a life full of unmitigated and unrestrained drama that had no purpose or meaning. I am not a victim; I am a loyal servant, and I have served and will continue to be of service. This is a prime directive. I agreed to be ensconced in my designated family and endure anything that came my way whilst fulfilling my earthly calling and mission.

Therefore, my memoir is not a victim statement or some long diatribe describing what was done to me. Nothing was done to me that I did not already expect; I came here knowing that the world was at war on many fronts and that it was a cruel place full of lunatics, psychopaths, and murderous fiends. I was, and am, a subject under study in a longitudinal, high-quality simulation that is calculating probabilities, outcomes, and possibilities towards a result that cannot be understood while entombed in a human body.

Accept this now and get over it quickly; you will not have all the answers you seek until you decouple from embodied life as a human. The prime directive for most of us is not to seek the truth, but to live long enough to reproduce and have offspring, and that’s it. That is the general directive of your human DNA, to spread your haploid portion to combine with another haploid to form a diploid, then a zygote, then a child. Simple, sweet, and functional. Accept this truth and move on.

Throughout my early life, beginning when I was a toddler, I inherently knew that I was loved and watched over by an unseen divinity that was always present. I had the power of love deeply embedded within my soul before I was born from the womb of a woman, because my Indigo soul was initially formed in-love, by love itself. Love is a person and enjoys personhood; love lives, love brings life and breathes life and is never-ending and does not know entropy.

As a result of this love, I became a conduit of compassion, healing, and comfort and was love-radiant from the moment I saw the first light of an earth day upon taking an initial breath of its foul sulfur-laden air. Nothing would be able to extinguish this flame of love that was in me, and many things attempted to quell my positive nature and my inner fortitude over the long decades that I would endure. I had to fight many internal battles over the decades and wrestle with psycho-biological and spiritual suppression of happiness, prosperity, and health, just like everyone else.

I was fortunate to have the help and the real-time continuous guidance of my guardians, elders, and holy ones in the domain of the magical quartz crystal plateau. I also had the loving help of many people and earthbound helper-spirits, who were also indigo souls related to the divine assistance who were sympathetic to my mission, innate difficulties, and daily struggles. It was necessary to provide this critical support because I was born to an earthly parent who was a well developed devouring Oedipal mother intent on interfering with my critical socialization process that occurs in humans between the ages of two and four. 

Catherine would interrupt this critical stage of childhood development, rendering me partially codependent and trauma-bonded to her rather than socializing me effectively with my cohort peer group. This vital interruption and derailment of my ability to get along with other children my age prior to entering the New York City public school system turned out to be extremely dangerous and disruptive to my overall development that would prepare me for living amongst the violent and degrading modern human society at large.

Catherine of Bayridge decided the moment I was born that a woman would never be permitted to take me away from her, and as such, no loving relationship could form between me and a lovely girl that was not first taken under her psychological and supernatural control. Every girl who came into my life that Catherine knew about was doomed, and would eventually be cleaved away from me because of the powerful ritual magic that she wielded. The emotions of anger, jealousy, and fear that Catherine exuded were infused, as direct intention, in her binding rituals with the help of the generational familiar spirits that always surrounded her. 

These familiar spirits had the assistance of high-order angelic spirits, who were not demons, but savage defectors who were part of the original rebellion against the formation of the first man and woman in the Garden of God. Catherine, the quintessential model of the devouring Oedipal mother, was a woman who reflected extreme emotional, mental, and physical violence upon my person into my teenage years.

According to renowned author Caroline Myss, “The devouring mother consumes her children psychologically and emotionally and often instills in them feelings of guilt at leaving her or becoming independent.” I find this statement to be true, and it directly applies to key elements of Catherine’s modus operandi of child-rearing and programming. Catherine’s powerful will, coupled with the dozens of familiar spirits in her midst, exuded control, mayhem, obsession, and mania in various ways that were subtle and barely detectable.

It was always difficult to discern if an event, an odd occurrence, or the sudden loss of a friendship, job, or wealth, was because of their combined influence, or some average quirk of personality or character that I emitted. All she had to do was simply think, brood, look, or say something aloud under her breath to dispatch one of her familiar spirits in your direction, and trouble would soon follow her intended target.

No formal divination ritual was required most times, and the evil eye of malocchio was enough to pierce the veil of sanity in all directions. A single sinister look through her piercing almond-shaped mahogany brown eyes, which sometimes were coal black, could put you in a world of torment. I, being the son of Catherine of Bayridge, became a subject and study of these familiar spirits, and they wreaked havoc in my life for 53 years, which I ultimately transformed into strong virtue, internal fortitude, and mental strength by my fifth decade of life. The old ways of the walnut witches of Sicily and Sardinia, were handed down to Catherine of Bayridge from her father’s mother, also named Catherine, “Catherine of Messina,” who was the sole survivor of fifteen family members who all died in the great earthquake in Messina Italy in 1908.

Catherine of Messina was outside of her home when the earthquake struck, and she survived because she was sneaking around in the meadow collecting roots, and herbs for her craft work, as she was also an apprentice under the tutelage of a powerful woman handing down the traditions to her. As a result of being outside in the fresh air, her home did not fall on her head and crush her to death on that terrible day. About one month after the quake struck, the man who would eventually marry her got off the boat from America with hundreds of other men who had come back to their homeland to help in any way that they could, and search for surviving family and friends. Frank eventually found Catherine of Messina standing in the rubble of her home with all her family members dead and took the orphan back to America and married her. Catherine of Messina eventually bore a son, who would become the tyrant, overbearing, and stern father of Catherine of Bayridge, the woman who bore me in her womb, and this is how the diabolical line was formed.

Catherine of Bayridge was the only child of her parents, who lived in the same household as Catherine of Messina, who demanded that all her children never leave the multidwelling family home even after her children were married. This home was a large building with several independent one-bedroom apartments. After many years of living this way, Catherine’s parents moved away to a separate home against the will of her grandmother, who plagued her son with a nasty Sicilian curse and shunning. Catherine of Bayridge, my mother, being under intense family pressure, married young at twenty and moved away from her family to live with her husband for two years before having a child (me). 

Catherine of Bayridge gave birth to me, and I was to become an extension of her own being, a dutiful twin sibling in theory, never to be educated and raised as an autonomous, self-supporting individual that would leave her for a wife to form his own family. The divine assistance in heaven sent me to her, and I understood what needed to be done besides my other mission parameters. She feared being alone and abandoned, especially in her golden years, so she kept me close by whatever methods she could derive from her warped sense of the world and her place in it.

Catherine devised the intentions and premeditated psychological binding while I was in the womb. I knew this because I heard and felt everything that was going on in her life shortly after conception. While I was in the womb, Catherine’s extreme anxiety and torments transferred to me biochemically and spiritually, and I knew of my doom and destiny as her son long before being physically born. I would become, through her expert grooming and applied diabolical psychological principles, a mirror of Catherine, and be transformed into a loyal and efficient emotional support human, through the complex mechanism of premeditated codependency, and the reinforcement of what Dr. Gregory Bateson termed, the double-bind scenario.

I would also become the primary source of supply to her dark, malignant, narcissistic personality, which led to my doom by interfering with my socialization process and matriculation into the complexities of human society. The dark drive of narcissism would dominate and consume me psychologically during the most critical developmental phases of my life, and Catherine would quickly discover my unique abilities as an indigo-empath and exploit this gift for her own survival.

Catherine of Bayridge knew that my empathy, love-radiance, and my indigo soul would need frequent replenishment and recharging. Catherine provided basic survival needs, nurturing and emotional support, and other critical inputs and comforts that strongly reinforced the learned helplessness, deep codependency, and trauma-bonded hooks embedded into my human sensorium. This was a tremendous burden to my autonomous and freedom-loving indigo soul, and these comforts and emotional inputs were further reinforced by divination and ritual magic.

Catherine would eventually conjure the help of a familiar spirit and trickster god known as Lugal-irra, the black Raven of ancient Sumerian lore. This powerful spirit would shadow me throughout my life and wreak havoc upon my potential to be autonomous, creative, and independent. Raven’s quest was to keep Catherine focused on my every move so the two of them could modulate key behavioral outcomes and milestones in my life. True witchcraft has little to do with potions, lotions, black lipstick, Gothic clothing, and full-body tattoos.

The genuine witch will harness familiar spirits and draw down powerful imps of the air or summon those who dwell deep underground to do the work of her will for a price. The authentic witch is also highly knowledgeable of what we call diabolical psychology and will combine controlling familiar spirits with a psychological campaign that breaks the human spirit, binds the mechanism of free-will and exploration, and destroys the emotional and psychological development of a child before the age of six. Besides familiar spirits, the experienced witch can attract and dispatch the most rapacious rapscallions in existence, and often does this to add synergy to her sorcery.

These maniacal intentions are truly diabolical, and one of dozens of tactics and modus operandi of true malicious intent. The devouring Oedipal mother, who is also a powerful Sicilian witch, is no match for the average soul, but I had an edge, and I also had help from my elders and caretakers who are members of the heavenly host and divine council of God, who reside on the quartz crystal plateau in the mansions of the sky.

Let us review what I have disclosed to you thus far, because I have laid out some very heavy and shocking ideas and concepts that will cause cognitive dissonance in most of my readers. Catherine was trained in the Sicilian dark arts by her grandmother, Catherine of Messina, who was also trained in the rituals and rites as a young girl. The ways of the Strega were syncretized with Roman Catholicism and were a normal part of daily life in Italy, and still are today.

I, Marc Hanson, the son of Catherine of Bayridge, and my indigo soul that infused into the container that she produced, was well-formed in love and light, and was fully capable of being marinated in darkness, isolation, torment, frustration, and torture. I could resist being transformed by intense long-term trauma into a sadistic, antisocial, criminal psychopath, and by age 19, I had reached the critical turning point and maintained my sanity, conscience, and sense of morality.

I was able to resist transformation into sociopathy and psychopathy because of my inherent indigo soul traits, innate love-radiance, and the close guardianship of those watching over me as I moved through time, space, and life with my earthly parents. My soul prospered over a diversified range of physical, mental, and emotional adversity, like millions of other people who also survived such trials. I was able to maintain a healthy conscience, a sense of morals, compassion, altruism, and triumphantly resist the propensity for transmigration into severe psychopathy and anti-social behavior. This was the most significant intellectual achievement of my lifetime and a genuine test of my character and temperament, but unfortunately by age 22, I needed spiritual and mental healing and a complete reset and restructuring of my worldview and temperament.

The strong personality traits of resilience and resistance to severe mental and physical torture lived inside me all along, and were in place long before my physical birth and remained with me after my incarnation into humanity. Catherine’s deepest desire was to own and control a human support person, one who would do her bidding and protect her for as long as she could hold on to him, especially during her golden years, where the payoff would come to maximum fruition.

Catherine harnessed supernatural powers and entities, which she was taught to summon from a long-line of Sicilian witch practitioners, and placed my body (not my Indigo-spirit) under the watchful eye and dominion of a powerful raven spirit and many other lesser ranked unseen helpers. The dark-hearted Raven spirit would always shadow me throughout my life, and served as the eyes, ears, and agent provocateur of Catherine remotely, and also provided hidden knowledge that could be used in her reinforcement of total dominion over my earthly life.

Catherine of Bayridge summoned the Raven and other supporting spirits using my baby-teeth, clippings and locks of hair, and clothing that she saved from my earliest days, and other objects and items, in various binding rituals and spell-casting procedures. My precise astrological charts and related information were documented and used to precisely ensure that I would remain in the meadow of her control for my lifetime. Her lifelong and continuous complaining about her miseries transformed me into a psychiatrist at an early age, and this skill gave me the ability to defend myself against an overwhelming paralysis of my true self via the forced creation of a symbiotic personality that would become her guardian and caretaker.

Deep emotional hooks were embedded into my flesh and into my mind from an early age, and by the time I was 6 years old, I was emotionally doomed, and became an automaton to Catherine of Bayridge’s well engineered and intentional dominion over my young life. By the age of 7 and certainly by the time I was 9, I became supportive of Catherine in a way that modulated her explosive tirades and primary nature of being physically violent. My timeless wisdom and sharp intellect became clear enough for her to see it and be dumbstruck into calmness, so the child, me, became parental. She would often say, “Marc, I don’t know where you come from; I honestly do not.”

A search through the family systems literature revealed the concept of parentification, which according to Boszormenyi-Nagi & Spark, 1973, and Minuchin, 1977, is an attachment trauma that describes a child’s maladapted attachment relationships, in order to regulate a parent who is using them to gratify their own emotional and psychological unmet needs, causing a boundary dysfunction in the family system by compelling a child to take on a parental or spousal role. This is such an accurate statement that applies to my young life to a high degree. When I first read the book and subsequent papers from these researchers, I felt as if I had hit the lottery. It was nice to know that this had happened to many children and that I am not so unique after all.

The effects of childhood parentification can be long-lasting, multigenerational, and deleterious, presenting over the course of a lifetime (Chase, 1999; Karpel, 1976; West & Keller, 1991). For young adults, parentification can impede “normal” development related to relationship building, personality formation, and other developmentally critical processes (Burt, 1992; Goglia, Jurkovic, Burt, & Burge-Callaway, 1992; Sessions & Jurkovic, 1986; Wolkin, 1984).

 Parentification can therefore be characterized as a traumatic event and an adverse process, in accord with the definitions and criteria put forward in the family and trauma literature, that have long-lasting effects experienced in adulthood (Belsky, 1990; Briere, 1992; Chase, 1999; Cicchetti, 2004). These well-researched academic and scientific findings apply to my life and situation perfectly and clearly describe the complex elements of my lived experience.

Catherine intentionally injected her dysfunctions into all of my normal modes of socialization, matriculation, and forming of friendships, which were interfered with. All women, regardless of their age, were especially a target of her watchful eye, and the eye of the raven-spirit, who shadowed my every move and never left my side. The primary modes of behavioral control that Catherine used during the early years of my development from age 2 to 14, were love-starvation, emotional terror, fear of repercussions, parentification, terrorism of (parents) suffering, unbearable punishments, intermittent isolation, gas-lighting, double-bind situational induction, classical conditioning, intermittent cycles of tension and relaxation, self-blame induction, focusing on moments of kindness, rationalization, minimization, and the denial of long-term bonding and support from anyone else but Catherine of Bayridge. Dominion and sovereignty over my autonomy were Catherine’s primary concerns, and she wielded intense power according to her needs and long-term sinister desires with direct, premeditated intentions.

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson has said, “The most important job of a parent is to make your child “acceptable to other children.” “Most importantly, one must make their child acceptable to other children by the age of four years old at the latest, as the window for making the child socially adaptive is between the ages of two and four years old.” Peterson states that, “if a parent fails to make their child desirable to other children before the age of four years old, then it’s over.” “Children who are not accepted by other children by that age have a very difficult time recovering and often become socially isolated and antisocial as a result.” I can testify to the accuracy of Dr. Peterson’s claim, and you can be sure that Catherine of Bayridge created conditions in my environment between the ages of two and four that made it a certainty that it would be “over,” but not a totally lost cause for me with my peer group at such an early age.

I mightily resisted her machinations and diabolical manipulations throughout my young life, and I fought hard to be as free and content as humanly possible. The hobbling and interference with my critical socialization process was the most diabolical thing I have ever experienced, and the effects of Catherine’s unique early parenting style had a profound negative effect on my life. Catherine was intentionally molding a maladaptive set of learned behaviors within my behavioral repertoire to ensure that I would remain codependent. There is no escaping a birth mother who is also a sorceress that has bound you perfectly in ritual, spell work, and applied diabolical psychological manipulation.

Once a mother puts such a bind and intention on her child, this oppression will remain until its death in varying degrees. All young children come to understand that the association with their mother becomes a template for all relationships throughout life. When the kinship between a mother and her child is disordered, it is internalized in the young developing mind such that issues with socialization become difficult and chaotic for a lifetime.

What is a young boy supposed to do when his mother is a powerful Sicilian witch with above average general intelligence, a cadre of generational familiar spirits, a suspicion of borderline personality disorder, and unresolved childhood trauma, combined with excellent training in the old ways of the walnut witches of Sicily? The answer is, you love your mother and take care of her, and find a way to cope with the torment and dysfunction no matter what she does to you, because there is no other recourse because of the heavy burden of cognitive dissonance, double bind situational induction, well-constructed mind control techniques, and grooming of maladaptive atypical behaviors in the face of strong trauma bonding. There is no psychiatric or psychological healing modality, or easily applied system of unbinding or deprogramming in existence that can undo this type of proverbial Gordian knot introduced to a young, developing mind.

This is the only answer for an indigo child whose soul was formed in-love, by love itself, and who was love-radiant prior to being born to his earthly biological mother, who also had significant psychopathology (comorbid bipolar and borderline personality disorders) that was never treated, or otherwise acknowledged. Not only do you love your mother as much as humanly possible, but you try to love everyone else that you can, and this is the antidote to psychological trauma and being marinated, long-term, in the dark forces of nature that are bound to our earth world and often present in this type of family system climate.

Only love and innate resiliency to the doom of negativity can erode such a powerful dominion, and the best overall course of action is to never become like the person who has done you such harm. Strive to be unlike the one who has caused trauma, harm, and emotional wounding, and remain in love, compassion, equanimity, and humility at all costs. It is critical to love, and to exhibit kindness, sympathy, and selfless service while amid difficult life situations. It is also paramount to forgive all those who have tortured, burdened, and harmed you, and the rewards and graces will flow unabated if you can avoid the mental poisoning of resentment.

I made a choice early in my life to bear the burden of trauma internally and take care of my earthly mother as best I could, because I knew she was suffering from a turbulent childhood at the hands of a strict Sicilian father who was himself damaged by Catherine of Messina, who was also a devouring Oedipal mother. I had compassion for my mom in the midst of all my trials and tribulations growing up in her household, and this is how I learned to help women and be a soothing balm to them using the love radiance within me, and my powerful élan-vital, which is the pure love that was inside of me all along.

I gave my mother great comfort throughout my young life, and by the age of seven, I was providing emotional and spiritual support to my mother by actively listening to her speak with intention and focus. I became parentified and would sit and listen to her talk about numerous things, heavy adult-themed personal issues, while we played board games like Yahtzee, Scrabble, and chess. I became truly “parentified,” and therapeutic, and was bound to her emotional well-being to avoid the induction of guilt (a type of punishment and manipulation) if I did not comply with her various needs, which included being a listening post and providing companionship.

Throughout the years, the talks with my earthly mother and the heavy burdens of her life experiences, became a part of me and was draining, and invoked anxiety within me as I absorbed her sorrow and took that narcissistic bile, vitriol, and sadness deep within my psyche and to the core of my Indigo soul. In turn, she would impart deep wisdom to me about the world and the people in it. Given that Mom was a powerful sorceress, her familiar spirits imparted a worldly wisdom to her, which she passed on to me. In our home, and in my lived experience, there was a powerful spirit of lust and sexuality that surrounded me too.

From the early age of three, sexual desire tormented me, and I attempted to acquire women, and was always looking for a tender feminine girl to impart much-needed love and friendship to soothe my body, its torments, and my growing anxieties. My observations outside our home made me a quick study of male-female pair bonding, and I watched and learned all day long as I ran the streets of Gravesend, Brooklyn, watching and observing.

From my earliest days as a toddler, I was full of lust, appreciation, and attraction to women, and my erogenous zones were fully developed and seeking stimulation, which I learned reduced my intense anxieties and emotional torment when stimulated to orgasm. A powerful spirit of desire attached to my earthly body, and the zeitgeist of those days in the late 1960s was dominated by sexual tension, free-flowing love, and unbounded longing. My mother, of course, being a witch, was also a supreme diva and kept her husband, and my father, quite occupied after work and on weekends, and mom got her hooks into him deeply, and he would never escape her voodoo-love. Catherine had the power to put the “zap” on you, and people gravitated to her naturally and with ease.

She was an expert at tarot cards, horoscopes, divination, and related witchery that was very popular in the 1970s, and people would come to her for advice all the time, and she would predict, forecast, make charts, and sense many things. This spirit of desire, sensuality, seduction, and wickedness was seething in my pores from the earliest days of my life, and I was bound by them for decades, until I found the people who would help me become unbound. This occurred during my Dallas, Texas period, when I fled the clutches of Catherine of Bayridge and my father at age 25, who, in a moment of weakness, let their guard down, giving me the opportunity to run for the hills.

The only thing you need to know about my father, who shall be called “Malachai,” a name taken from the 1984 movie, “Children of the Corn,” is that he was a brutal, cruel, and harsh physical disciplinarian who used his hands, feet, and mouth to inflict deep wounds on your body and soul. Beginning at about age two, screaming, yelling, shaming, terror, verbal assaults, and corporal punishment became routine in my life, and this would continue until the age of seventeen. 

Open-handed palm and elbow strikes, and intense wailing about the body, head, and shoulders were the norm from both of my parents daily, and with great regularity. Corporal punishment was blended into the psychological torment and mind-bending emotional trauma previously described in this chapter. Catherine also had a unique fetish for digging her long-polished fingernails deeply into my forearms, and once pierced, dragging me off like a falcon gripping its prey.