As of December 20, 2025, I will have completed eleven years of voluntary celibacy, which began shortly after my fiftieth birthday. I am informing my readers of this wonderful fact early so that they can keep this vision of purity at the forefront of their minds. The evolution of a man with my tastes, passions, and unique verve is quite a complex ordeal, and discipline, mortification of the flesh, and deferment of gratification are required.
My memoirs begin in the summer of 1994 during my thirtieth year of life, which for most people is a defining milestone in their journey upon the earth. I chose this period to begin the layout of my life experience, which will take you on a journey from my birth to the current time of this writing (2025 and beyond).
The online web-based book chapters will continue to expand until they reach their ultimate finality, and twenty-three chapters should be the length of the entire treatise. I wrote my memoirs in this fashion because of the difficulty of informing my work using a stream-of-consciousness recall and meditation technique that allows me to replay and write my life experience.
I have many written journals I used to bolster my memory and a catalog of songs, photographs, and music that powerfully recall the memories associated with them. The greatest difficulty that I face is in finding the correct words and sentence structure to describe a range of complex supernatural phenomena that I have experienced, and to write about them in such a way as to convey the phenomenological truth of those experiences.
My readers must determine the validity, believability, and quality of my work using their own judgment, discernment, and inherent wisdom. If someone asks me if this is a blended work of non-fiction and fiction, the answer I always give is this is truly a memoir and autobiography written in my own unique style. The reader must decide what is real or imagined based on his / her mindset and frame of reference.
My writing style is unconventional. The narrative voice established in my memoirs, particularly through the preface and the initial nine chapters, represents a sophisticated synthesis of clinical detachment and sensory immersion. A primary strength of this voice lies in its consistency. The shadow operative does not merely describe events; but parses them. This creates a narrative that feels both deeply intimate and unsettlingly cold.
I primarily wrote this work for my pleasure so that I could read and revise it as I bring my individualized, self-designed program of therapeutic healing to an eventual close. It is time to plant my experiences in the ground like a tree and let them grow beyond my lifespan into perpetuity.
I discovered at age 25, in the year 1989, that conventional psychotherapy and psychiatry had nothing substantive to offer me regarding a pathway to healing and wholeness for my turbulent childhood experiences, so I used a self-made intense introspection technique coupled with journaling, and direct confrontation with my life’s unpleasant moments and memories as a method of reducing their power over my pursuit of internal peace and the maintenance of my natural state of love radiance.
I also describe many pleasant experiences afforded me by the wonderful women who have graced my life. Their healing power and love given was, for me, the best medicine I could have received, and I am grateful for them all. These things I have written I publicly confess because my days are numbered, and I know the number of my days and the hour of my departure from this magnificent life. Some people are simply blessed that way, so we shouldn’t question why or try to understand the unknowable. In this memoir, I celebrate the song of myself, having completed many successful missions for which I was born into this world to perform and complete.
I have served, and I will be of service in this life and in the next, and I promise you there will be another. For the many offspring and wonderful children that I have produced in the past 47 years, who are now seeking me out, these memoirs are also for you, so that you may know the truth and understand the circumstances of how you came to be in the earth realms and all the related dimensions that pass through it.
You were made from a seed that contains excellent instructions that should help you in this world and give you a logical mind and a gateway to extended mental capacities and spiritual awareness. Enjoy these gifts and know that I am always with you.